Monday, August 08, 2005
DOMS - BLAH-HUMBUG
Oh boy, Sunday already. By the time you read this it will be Monday morning unless it isn’t, in that case one of us is in trouble.
WECOME
If you are a first time reader of the BLAH-G, let me be the first to welcome you and let you know what you are in for. Most times I attempt to bring some humor into your life so that you will bust a gut and pee your pants… HOWEVER the other times I am AS STRAIGHT FORWARD as any one person can be when it comes to YOUR LIFE, MY LIFE, and the Westmoreland County Department of Emergency Management’s New 800 Mhz Radio System (or should I say the Tax Payers).
I know for a fact that some people are upset over these Blah-gs ! Why, because I am telling the truth when it comes to how BAD the 800 Mhz System is and some people just don’t want to hear about it.
To those people I can only say that YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE HOW GREAT IT IS.
Lies get you no where.
I have to tell you that I have never worked so hard in my life as I have in the last few days getting information together, answering phone calls, sending and receiving emails, connecting new equipment at the “Booger’s Operations Command and Control Center”, faxing important papers to important people, cutting and editing audio, and a whole bunch of secret information. WOW, busy beaver I am ! (remember, I said busy, not dizzy)
AUDIO CD TIP CONTEST
Remember that in just 10 days the Boogerette will be pulling a name from the Chief Booger’s hat for a CD filled with miscellaneous audio clips from the Westmoreland County Department of Emergency Management. This happens every month on the 17th.
How do you get entered for a chance to win this CD you say ? Well, those of you that have turned in a tip for me (like towers getting hit during a thunderstorm, names of dispatchers, radio broken at a fire station, Blackberry’s ordered by 911 Management… that kind of stuff) all have a chance to win ! Each tip you send in gives you another chance to win.
<-- just click on the link !If the tip comes in anonymously, I will post the tip that won. If you wish to collect your CD then you can email me and we will work something out. For all those others I will send you the CD by email.
YES, I break it up into tiny pieces then stuff it in my COM 1 PORT and attach it to an email. If you want to receive it the old fashioned way, me and my Camel will hump it over to ya.
Better yet, why not just send it to you via USPS Mail ? That’s the ticket.
If you are the winner, I’ll find someway of getting it to you... unless you politely tell me where to put it !
DO YOU SUFFER FROM DOMS
DOMS stands for DISPATCHER OPEN MIC SYNDROME and it seems to be spreading faster than butter on woods or fire on bread !
In the last few days I have heard at least two dispatchers with their microphones keyed down and no one to talk to. I have both of these recorded however in each case the DOMS episode lasted longer than 3 minutes and in the case of the female dispatcher it was almost five minutes ( place your own comment here.. it's free ).
I could hear laughter, yawning, heavy breathing (oh my), a cough or two, other dispatchers in the back ground answering phones, and in one case some kind of a thumping noise that sounded like an old man walking across a marble floor with a swimming suit on and carrying a black and white photo of Tiny Tim in Drag.
No wonder the dispatchers can’t hear the police, fire and ambulance people call into the center… they are too busy cutting out the world with their own headset switches !
It’s also possible that they do not have their headset plug pushed in the whole way into the console !
This could cause DOMS by keying the transmitter when the dispatcher is not ready to talk and could also cause a pregnancy in shorter people. To avoid this, USE ABC GUM... Already Been Chewed, so she says !
OH GREENSBURG
Sunday night and well into Monday Morning the Greensburg City Police were testing their radios on their new Talkgroup (TG) channels. In fact I believe that this was their very first official police broadcasts on 800 Mega Hurts when they called in a 10-28 (that makes it official).
I was truly hoping for another Frick and Frack ordeal where they would treat these new radios as room intercoms or children’s band radios while they learn how to use them, but they didn’t.
It would have been funny to hear the Big City Boyz talking about their shoe smell and how many French Fries they can shove up their noses… but it just didn’t happen.
I think most people will remember the original Frick and Frack from the Washington Township Police.
Remember, they would talk about anything and everything from how clean the floors were in their homes to the greasy steering wheel in Car 5-54.
Although the original F&F are still around and very active, they just don’t place their food orders over the 800 Mhz radios anymore (well, only on TAC 4) and then describe each piece of food as it went down the old food tube.
Well any which way, Greensburg, enjoy your new 800 Mega Hurts radios.
If you haven’t kept up with the Blah-g then you may wish to read all of the back issues.
You are putting your lives in the hands of a radio system that hasn’t, and in my opinion won’t prove itself in this hilly terrain anytime soon. That is why I say “800 Mega Hurts” !
TIME TABLE
It was Sunday evening when I started this edition of the BLAH-G however because of different obligations that I had and some other things going on, I didn’t get back to finish this until the wee wee hours of Monday Morning (didn’t want you thinking that I was a 1 wpm typist).
With that I will say good night and good morning.
This Booger Blah-ger is going to find a clean sheet somewhere and throw it over me. Would someone please water me about every 2 hours ? While your at it, turn me over too as I get moon burn very easy… and I can’t find my Crater Clumps Magic Moon Burn Oil made of Homogenized Moose Milk !
DECODED,
K3SAM
http://800.k3sam.com for updates
www.gmans.net for live broadcasts
http://messages.k3sam.com for interactive messaging
www.k3sam.com for all of your local frequencies
(Next issue will contain some sort of meal for you. It's just after that BLACKBERRY ISSUE of the BLAH-G a few days back I lost my appetite. All I can think about is seeing 911 Management carrying these expensive toys around when there is critical equipment that is broken down at the 911 center and they say there's no money to fix it ! BLAH-HUMBUG!!)
